Contents of Ceremonies

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Preparing the wedding

A complete Javanese wedding ceremony has several complicated traditional rituals. In that event, the role of a Pemaes, a traditional make-up woman who leads the whole ceremony, is very important. She takes care of the make-up and dressing of the bride and bridegroom, the different kind of offerings, the different kind of ceremonies during the event, etc.

A small wedding committee of close relatives and friends from both families is set up.

This committee has to organize the whole wedding: the wedding protocol, food and beverages, gamelan music and dance, decoration of the reception hall, master of ceremony, witnesses for Ijab, welcoming speech during the reception, transportation, communication, security, and so on. The most important thing to prepare is no doubt the execution of Ijab (the religious and civil registration which legalises the couple as legitimate husband and wife).

Tarub Decoration

Usually one day before the wedding party, the gate of the house of the bride's parents is decorated with Tarub (plant decorations), which consists of different Tuwuhan (plants and leaves).

Two banana trees with stem of ripe bananas meaning: The husband will be a good leader of his family. As banana trees grow easily everywhere, the couple can also live well and happy everywhere, in good terms with the environment.

A pair of Tebu Wulung (reddish sugar cane) meaning: The whole family comes together with a strong and a wise mind.

A Cengkir Gading (half-ripe coconut) meaning: The couple loves each other and they always will take care of their loved ones.

Different fresh leaves, such as of beringin (banyan tree), mojo-koro, alang-alang (tall, coarse grass), dadap srep (flowering trees) meaning: the couple should live in safety and protect the family.

On top of this, on the gate you will find bekletepe (ornaments made from plaited coconut leaves) to drive out evil spirits and as a sign that a wedding ceremony takes place in this house

Kembang Mayang Decoration

Kembar Mayang is a kind of bouquet made of different kind of leaves (mainly coconut leaves stuck into a banana trunk). It is a very beautiful decoration with a broad symbolic meaning:

It has a mountain like shape: A mountain is high and big, symbolising a man should have a lot of knowledge, experience and patience.

Keris (kris, double-bladed dagger): The couple should be careful in life. Whips: The couple should be always optimistic with the desire to have a good life. Umbrellas: The couple must protect their family. Grasshoppers: The couple should be energetic, quick in thinking and making decisions in order to keep the family safe. Birds: The couple should have a high life-motivation. Beringin (banyan tree) leaves: The couple should always protect the family and other human beings.

Siraman Ceremony

Siraman means to take a bath. For the couple in the wedding ritual, it means to become clean, their bodies as well as their souls. The Siraman ceremony is usually organised in the afternoon, one day before the Ijab and Panggih rituals. Siraman of the would-be-bride is conducted in her parents' residence. For the would-be-bridegroom, it is conducted in his parents' residence. The place of the Siraman is usually in the family bathroom or in a place specially designed for this purpose (garden). Nowadays the second alternative is more common. The list of persons bathing the couple is important too. Besides the parents, some elderly and distinguished women are invited. They are selected on their good moral behaviour. The number of people giving Siraman is usually limited to seven. Seven in Javanese is Pitu, so they are giving Pitulungan (meaning help).

Midodareni Cheremony

Midodareni is derived from the word Widodari meaning goddess. That evening, the would-be-bride becomes as beautiful as a goddess. According to ancient belief, goddesses should visit her from heaven.

The bride has to stay in the room from 6.00 p.m. to midnight accompanied by some elder women giving her useful advice. The family of the would-be-bridegroom and her very close friends should also visit her for a while; all of them must be women.

The bride's parents should feed her for the last time. As from tomorrow, she is at her husband's responsibility.

Peningsetan or Srah-Srahan is derived from the word singset (meaning to tie up). The families of both sides have to agree on the wedding. The parents should become 'in-laws'. The family of the would-be-bridegroom visit the parents and the family of the would-be-bride. They are bringing some gifts.

On this occasion, both families should make acquaintance to each other in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Ijab Ceremony

In Java, people often say that birth, marriage and death are the wish of God. It is easily understood that wedding rituals are implemented accordingly, as an exhibition of traditional art and culture, an integral part of the nation's identity, where the noble symbols of life are exposed with pride and dignity. This great tradition, inherited from ancient time, is strongly preserved by the people.

The Ijab Ceremony is the most important requirement to legalise a marriage. The implementation is in accordance with the religion of the couple.

Panggih Ceremony
The wonderful and mystical sound of Gamelan (a Javanese music instruments) accompanies a traditional sacred Panggih or Temu (means meeting) between a beautiful bride with her handsome bridegroom in front of a house decorated with 'Tarub' plant decoration.

The bridegroom, accompanied by his close relatives (but not his parents who are not allowed to be present during the ritual), arrives at the house of the bride's parents and stops at the gate of the house.

The bride, accompanied by two elderly women, walks out of the bridal room. Her parents and close relatives walk behind her. Preceding the bride are two young girls, Patah, holding a fan. Two elderly women or two young boys are carrying two Kembar Mayang (bouquet ornament), about one meter of height. One woman from the bridegroom's family walks forward and gives a Sanggan (a gift in the form of banana fruits and flowers put in a tray covered with banana leaves) to the mother of the bride, as a sign of appreciation to the hostess of the ceremony.

During the Panggih ceremony, the Kembar Mayang are brought outside the house and thrown away in a crossroad nearby the house, depicting all evil spirits should not disturb the ceremony in the house and its surrounding area. For decoration, one pair has been put on the right and left side of the couple's wedding chair during the reception. Kembar Mayang is used only if the couple was unmarried before.

Balangan Suruh

The bride is meeting the bridegroom. They approach each other. When they are about three meters from each other, they start throwing to each other seven small bundles of betel leaves with lime inside tied together with white yarn. They do it eagerly and happily, everyone is smiling happy. According to ancient belief, betel leaves have the power to chase away bad spirits. By throwing betel leaves to each other, it should be proved that they are really the genuine persons, not some ghost or another person who pretends to be the bride or the bridegroom.

Wiji Dadi Ceremony
The bridegroom crashes a chicken egg with his right foot. The bride washes the bridegroom's foot using water mixed with several kinds of flowers. It depicts that the bridegroom is ready to become a responsible father and the bride should faithfully serve her husband.

Sindur Binayang Ceremony
After the ritual of Wiji Dadi, the father of the bride leads the couple to the wedding chair, the mother of the bride covers the couple's shoulders with Sindur. Symbolising the father shows the happily ways and mother will support morality.

Timbang Ceremony
Both the bride and the bridegroom are sitting on the bride's father's lap, while he says that they have the same weight, meaning that he loves them both equally.

Tanem Ceremony

The bride's father seats the couple in the wedding chair. It depicts that he approves the marriage. He gives his blessing.

Tukar Kalpika Ceremony
Exchange of wedding rings as a sign of love.

Kacar Kucur or Tampa Kaya
With the help of the Pemaes, the couple walks arm in arm, or more precisely holding each other with their little finger, to the site of the ritual. There, the bride gets from the bridegroom some soybeans, peanuts, paddy rice, corns, yellow rice, herbs, flowers and coins of different values (the quantity of the coins must be even). It depicts that the husband should give all his income to his wife. The bride carefully receives these gifts in a small white cloth, above an old mat that has been put on her lap. She should be a good and caring housewife.

Dahar Klimah or Dahar Kembul Ceremony
The wedding couple is eating together, feeding each other. The Pemaes, as the leader of the ceremony, gives a plate to the bride with yellow rice, fried eggs, soybean, tempe, and fried meat. First, the bridegroom makes three small balls of rice with his right hand and gives it to the bride. After the bride has eaten, she will do the same for the bridegroom. When they are finished, they drink sweet tea. The ritual depicts the couple should use and enjoy their belongings together.

Mertui Ceremony

The bride's parents pick up the parents of the bridegroom in front of the house. They walk together to the place of the ceremony. The mothers walk in front, the fathers behind. The parents of the bridegroom sit on the left side of the couple. The parents of the bride sit on the right side of the couple.

Sungkeman Ceremony
While they kneel, the couple will ask for the blessing of their parents: first from the parents of the bride, then from the parents of the bridegroom. During the Sungkeman, the Pemaes takes out the keris from the bridegroom. After the ritual, the bridegroom wears again his keris.

Receives blessings and greetings

After the wedding rituals, the reception follows. The newly-weds flanked by their parents receives blessings and greetings from the guests.